Oh barf.

Not literally. That's sad that I actually have to point that out. Just barf about my day of eating. I started off well, I'll just show you, this is how the day went:

-orange, almonds
-banana, string cheese
-leftover Thai from this weekend, eggplant-something-or-other
-Russel Stover Coconut Nest, a couple more almonds
-Diet Sunkist (I'm addicted)
-DQ small chocolate dipped cone w/chocolate ice cream, small fries
-some chocolate/peanut butter cookie bar goodie from a local bakery, milk

Gross, huh? I mean, it was all good tasting, but look how much junk I had! Ick. And I'm clearly not counting my calories, if I was I know I'd be way over my limit.

In good news, I sweated my butt off in the gym today and I'm becoming less and less uncomfortable changing in the locker room now. I've stopped going into the bathroom stall to change!

Did I even mention I was back at the gym yet? I haven't been updating this thing much. But I'm back at my gym because the hot water wasn't working at my house a little over a week ago and cold showers piss me off (there are the only thing that fill me with that kind of rage, I don't know what it is about them that I hate so much, but they anger me to an unhealthy level), so I signed up for a seven day pass and they wouldn't let me go in without signing up again since I was a member before, so I signed up and I'm only paying $19/month, which I think isn't bad at all. I've only been like three times since signing up though, but it's better than nothing.

I'm really wanting to get in shape now. Kind of as an experiment. I always look at other girls bodies and wish I had that body and there's no specific "that body" that I'm talking about, they're all so different. Sometimes I'll see a skinny girl with no curves and think "Man, I wish I could look like her!" then I'll see a tall girl with lots of sexy womanly curves and think "Daaaang, if I could only look like her." But my experimental part of wanting to work out and eat right is seeing how my body would look if it was actually healthy and in shape, which is what all these women I drool over are...they all have their own shape and I'd like to be as fit and healthy as I can possibly be to see if I'd drool over my bangin' bod'...or if I'd still think my calves and belly were too big and my face is too chubby. I'd just like to see. I mean, of course I'd like to keep it up too, but I'm really curious about how I'd look. I know it wouldn't be crazy different, because I'm not really that overweight to begin with, but it'd be interesting to see not only the physical difference in me, if there is much of one, but also the disciplined version of me.

Discipline? What is that? I never grew up with that. My family never pushed me into anything, they never tried to make me better or want to better myself, which I guess is good on some level, like in the "You're fine the way you are, you don't need to change for anyone" way, but I feel like it made me a very lack and lazy adult. I'm young though, 22 isn't too late to change and try to actually work towards accomplishing something. Being a person who tries. Weird.

So back to my Diet Sunkist obsession. It's crazy. I stopped drinking pop in high school. I only have one once every few months, maybe, and that's probably over doing it, it's probably more like one a year...since I was fifteen. But for some reason last week I had the urge for an orange pop, so I went and looked at my options at the store, there was Crush, Diet Crush, Sunkist and Diet Sunkist. I checked out all the labels and decided on Diet Sunkist and I've been switching between that and Diet A&W Root Beer all week long, like one-two per day, which means I've pretty much had more pop this past week than I've had in the past seven years. I'm so gross! Now I'm not sure if this is at all related, but I've been in an absolutely giddy mood this week, I don't know if it's the pop that's doing it, but it's kinda nice being so happy all the time. It is making me feel sick now though and making my already pretty bad ADD worse. I need to eat really healthy with all my brain issues to feel my best mentally...but this pop-filled week has been a pretty happy one, even if it hasn't been productive.